Credit crunch food crisis - please help?

The first things first road kill can be safe to eat but only if it is fresh. If you don't gut it right away the intestines will leak toxins into the meat and you could kill your family. If it is stiff it's too late. However if it is fresh kill the first thing you need to do is slice it from it's neck to its rectum and pull out the guts. Then take it home and skin it. If you don't want anyone to know debone (remove bruised meat) it and cook it like stir fry or boil some raw biscuits and make "chicken" and dumplings. Obviously a deer would be your best kill but not with a car. So I would seek out thinks like raccoon and squirrels. Now I have a question for you. Why do you have the internet if you can't buy Ramon Noodles.